Die off….

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Die off.

As I’ve started this new phase of my life, I keep reminding myself that the changes I’m making will provoke the bad just as quickly or even quicker than the good… what I mean is as I’m changing my diet and a couple of supplemental additions and subtractions the organs in my body start to function differently, mainly because the functionality has been radically impaired over the years, and I do mean years, literally. So as one organ is limited another can’t do the same because it’s totally different in its composition but the body as a whole makes or tries to make compensation in one way or another. Like when you have bursitis in your shoulder and can’t raise your arm, you automatically adjust by tilting your body and going up on your toes to reach what normally would’ve been easy before. So getting back to the changes, the good part is it’s trying to replace the damaged cells with healthy ones which in itself sounds good. The problem is the bad has to go somewhere before it’s eventually emitted from the body, during this transitional phase it passes through filter organs such as Liver, Kidney s, Heart and Brain. The fact is this temporary transitional phase creates problems, this can be referred to as Die Off….. that’s happening now, it’s temporary, I’ve got to feel worse before I feel better.

Me talking to myself… be strong Stefan, now it’s time to not just “Talk the talk” now I have to Walk the Walk.

Another phase….

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Another phase.

In the time I’ve been alive and I’m in my sixth decade now I feel I’ve in the main been very lucky, I mean who in their whole life gets to travel to more than twenty countries around the world, I have. The sports or pastimes or whatever you chose to call them have been amazing, some would refer to them as thrill seeking things such as Skydiving and Hang gliding, I did a fair bit of both. As a pilot, admittedly it was only small planes like the Cessna 208 but it was exciting although not as butt clenching as when I was learning to fly a helicopter, I ran out of money before I got my rotor license. I think the most scared I’ve been was as a SCUBA diver, that stands for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus…. had one or two fairly desperate dives, but I survived. In my teens through to late thirties I was a rock climber and there was rarely a week went by that I couldn’t be seen wearing the multi coloured lycra gear while on my mountain bike. You can add several really fast, as in 150 mph and 0 to 60 in under 3 seconds motorbikes, so I’ve probably done more than most especially when you consider living in Colorado for 11 years.

I came back nearly five years ago because of this disease, multiple sclerosis is quite a hideous bugger to cope with, but unlike the millions around the world that suffer with it, I will beat it, I will be symptom free and get back to the life I once had. This has been a horrible 13 plus years but at the end of the day it’s just another phase of my life.

Average Joe…

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Average Joe..

I’m just setting the scene for the average, everyday, run of the mill person, he’s worked hard all his life, had decent jobs and done the normal things. Meets, dates, then marries his sweetheart, all normal so far, gets a mortgage and the starter house and living an okay life, treats at weekends and holidays abroad. Then not unexpectedly a baby comes, still life is not bad, he’s managing…. just. The second baby makes things better in some ways but a little harder financially, no more treats like going out at the weekend. The family are still just about able to have holidays but they’re no longer abroad, it’s more likely long weekends in Skegness or possibly Blackpool. It’s decided that the little two bed is no longer big enough so the house gets bigger as does the mortgage and the rest of the monthly bills…. where am I going with this, ? Bear with me, I’m getting to it.. one weekend our average Joe does the lottery and guess what, all six numbers come up, yay he’s a winner… sort of… because there’s a catch. Yes he’s won the jackpot but he’s been told that because of some complications he’s not going to get his millions just yet. Now he’s worried, sort of, he knows it’s happening but not right now, he can’t pay off the debts he’s accumulated, can’t take the wife and kids on a decent holiday or get a good reliable car, he’s just going to have to carry on as normal until he gets his money, it might be next week although that’s unlikely. But it will definitely happen, Joe will get it all and give his family all he’s always wanted to do.

Back to reality…. that’s how I feel about my current situation, the changes I’m making from a food and supplemental standpoint will do exactly the same to me, I feel like I’ve just won the lottery jackpot but I just can’t have it yet. The difference between me and 99% of others is that I have a plan, a goal and incredible determination and patience.

What do I know…

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What do I know….

For the last ten years I’ve been deeply involved in health, that’s natural health not the look good on the surface type of health, you know the types, the ones that use lots of chemicals and lots of the synthetic additives that always give them temporary highs. On the face of it those people seem good but behind closed doors and in the log term they age very badly and suffer for it. No that’s not what I’ve been involved in and studied. From 2007 when I was a senior director working for Dr Hal Huggins I learned so much, not just about safe dentistry but also about true natural health, about body chemistry re-balancing and understanding haematology as in the many intricate components of the blood. I was very lucky to have met some incredible doctors, dentists, Phd’s and leaders in what is wrongfully termed Alternative medicine. Since coming back to England although not directly involved I’ve still read and researched as much as I could. So I would like to say that my knowledge and understanding is a little better than average, but that personal view was completely blown up when I read “Healing Multiple sclerosis” by Dr Ann Boroch. Over the past ten years I’ve been very actively looking, searching and trying a multitude of methods to remove this hideous disease from my body, some things have definitely helped and the fact I’m still here is testament to my efforts. But I’ve always felt that I was missing something, the right twist in my Rubik’s cube or the key piece in a very difficult puzzle. At last I’ve found it, it’s not like I’ve meticulously researched or spent countless hours studying then had a “Eureka moment”, no a friend sent me a link to Ann Boroch and now I understand what needs to be done, what will be done to heal myself. With all my experience, all my study it’s one thing to think I was doing it right, the title to this post isn’t a question, it’s a rhetorical statement…..what do I know !!!!.

Being Stefan….

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Being Stefan.

Obviously I spend a lot of time on my own each day and that’s not a problem, I’ve often heard people complaining on telly or read it in a book that a person is going stir crazy because they’ve been house bound for a week or whatever. It makes me laugh at how ridiculous some people are, how weak willed and selfish, how pathetic. I don’t get depressed or sad or go “stir crazy” and my situation is dramatically more difficult, frustrating, painful and just so much harder. I can’t actually walk as such anymore, I get around my flat my leaning against the wall or furniture and that’s not easy. Drop foot is when the foot just hangs from the ankle which happens to me,  when I can swing my left leg forward which it doesn’t always do, my foot sometimes drags so my toes sometimes buckle under, when that happens I desperately cling to the door frame and try my best to take the weight off it and not break my toes and crash to the floor. A good day for me is getting through it uninjured and to have treated myself to sugar free chocolate.

The subtle improvements I’m noticing through the changes I’m making are just that, minor, subtle improvements, I was able to swing my left leg without my toes buckling under or I was able to get into bed with only three efforts at trying to lift my leg, oh yes and being able to sit up in bed… wow what an incredibly active life I lead.

Despite the frustration, the humiliation, the pain, the extreme fatigue and anxiety, I keep my chin up, I keep believing, I keep trying. Do you think you personally could cope for a day in my shoes, not a day but an hour. So far I’ve had to cope with the multitude of symptoms of MS and trying to get to the loo 25 times a day and the annoying ringing of tinnitus in my ears for more than 135,000 hours. But I can tell you that I know I will beat this and I’m so proud of being Stefan.

Quite frightening…

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Quite frightening…

In the past I’ve written about how optimistic I am and how positive I feel because of the supplement I’d started taking and the changes it was provoking in my mind, to a certain extent as I’ve said before, a part of that was to inspire and motivate myself. I mean, think about it, here’s me with a disease the medical professionals around the world are claiming is incurable. So there’s little old me, living alone constantly saying I will somehow beat this with no medical resources and living on disability benefits… hah…. So how on earth am I supposed to do that….  I’ve been quite strong with myself mentally, I’ve tried to remain focussed on the nutritional side, not eating crap and meticulously taking natural supplements.

Well about a week ago a dear friend of mine in Wisconsin in the U.S. sent a link to a wonderful natural health practitioner and nutritionist that mysteriously died, I say mysteriously but we all know she had been killed…. hmmmm I wonder who or what could have benefited from her death, I not saying it was big Pharma but… anyway she had written several books all about natural health, one particular book had been written after she cured, yes cured herself of multiple sclerosis. I read all 5656 pages and have been following her advice on how she changed her life. Now it’s still only been a few days but this is actually frightening me, not because of anything bad, on the contrary, I’m already noticing very small, subtle improvements and I’m trying hard to restrict my enthusiasm but I absolutely, honestly believe that this is going to work.


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The book is over 5600 pages using my Kindle to read, I’m just about to start the final section that explains the diet, as in foods that should and shouldn’t be eaten. The following paragraph is just part of one of the many testimonials from MS patients or should I say ex MS Patients. This along with several others are the reasons detailed in the book is why I am absolutely certain I will be cured sooner rather than later.

When I was first diagnosed, I had Ann Boroch’s book Healing Multiple Sclerosis. But being that I was a sugar addict, I wasn’t willing to give up the foods that gave me great comfort. I didn’t want to believe that I was actually feeding MS each time I ate my comfort foods! This time I looked at the book through different eyes. I had suffered greatly, had given up too many activities, and I no longer wanted to have to go places in a wheelchair. I was now a grandmother and didn’t want to be the grandma in the wheelchair. I wanted to run, play, and dance with my grandchildren. So I reread Ann’s book. Meanwhile, the MS support group that I facilitated was looking for someone to come speak to our group about MS and nutrition. One member told me that she knew a man with MS who had been in a wheelchair, but after following the diet of a nutritionist, he was no longer in the wheelchair. I asked her to get the name of the nutritionist. When I was given the name Ann Boroch from the member of my group, I knew I wanted to talk with her to help me. This was the best decision I had made! I met with Ann and began her diet, which I found to be much easier than I thought it would be. Within a few months my MS symptoms went away and I got my life back! I was able to do all the activities that I had not been able to do in years. I no longer needed daily naps just to get through a day. I went from being taken care of to taking care of others. I wanted to kick myself for not starting this diet when I first got Ann’s book. All those years of suffering, pain, and loss could have been avoided. OUTCOME: I have been relapse-free since starting Ann’s diet two-and-a-half years ago. I have not once needed to use my cane, walker, or wheelchair. Since being on the diet, I no longer take meds for MS symptoms or disease-modifying drugs. And most importantly, I am the grandmother who runs, plays, and dances with her grandchildren. When I was able to walk through Disneyland with my three-year-old granddaughter, I knew that there was no food more important to me than the feeling I felt that day!

My choice….

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My choice..

I think having an illness or disease and choosing to accept the doctor’s diagnosis would probably seem to be perfectly normal, I mean they’re the ones trained in all things medical aren’t they, so the patient should simply go along with their suggestions. I think that probably 99.9% of patients do just that, they just say “okay what’s the best medicine for treating it” and then go to the always busy pharmacy, collect the drugs and carry on living their life as close as possible. I think most doctors would get quite pissed off with me if I was their patient. You see I’m a little different, I was very fortunate to work with a leader in the field of Alternative medicine, that description really frustrates me, it’s not alternative as if it’s something weird… it’s just truly trying to cure, to heal and eradicate whatever the illness is. Whereas the current methods, the Allopathic treatment that’s become the norm is purely money driven to treat a symptom and that my friends is never going to happen to me.

The months and years I’ve spent trying to find an answer when it comes to my health has been, what, painful, frustrating, expensive, yes all of those but as I see it, the diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, an incurable disease, is just their way of saying they have no idea how to fix it. Well I say that diagnosis and their prognosis is just their opinion, it isn’t cast in stone so I will keep looking and trying and guess what, I don’t accept what you say and I will heal myself and that’s my choice.


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Another paragraph from her book, something I’ve always known but never truly understood, this explanation along with many others, will I’m sure make the difference between me believing and me absolutely knowing what needs to be and will be done in the incredible process of my healing.

When examining our thoughts, we need to also look at our emotions and how the two work together. Thoughts feed emotions, and emotions feed thoughts. The two are inseparable, and if they are negatively based, they will create a vicious cycle that affects your health. Most negative emotions are based on fear. If you examine emotions such as shame, anger, guilt, jealousy, rejection, and blame, you will likely find that fear is at the root of them. Unfortunately, throughout our lives we have often suppressed uncomfortable or painful emotions, though we still carry them around in the present as what many call “emotional baggage.”The body has a cellular memory, and it retains this unresolved information. Over time, holding onto fear-based emotions, such as guilt or rage, will weaken your body. Therefore, it’s important for you to feel these emotions and then let them go.


How am I..?..

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How am I.

The title how am I is relative to time really, how am I in comparison to five years ago? Well the answer would be that I’m worse now than I was then, but in reality that’s only to be expected, I have a disease considered to be incurable. How am I in comparison to this time last year? the answers the same unfortunately, but as I mentioned, my condition is all relative. As I’ve said before, when the neurologist originally diagnosed me in February 2004 he categorically told me that I’d be in a wheelchair permanently within six months if I didn’t take the medication he prescribed. I never did and I’m not in a wheelchair, I look at myself in the mirror and yes obviously I’m thirteen years older but I think I look good, I’m biased of course but in all seriousness I don’t look like a 62 yr old with multiple sclerosis. So as I said it’s all relative, I honestly believe that what I’ve been doing from a nutritional and mental standpoint has worked phenomenally well, I’m not cured…. yet, but I’m in a far better place than the drug pushing doctors expected.

I reckon I’ve tried a good fifty different things so far, some like the dental revision and body chemistry re-balancing have obviously been a major contributor to my current condition and I’m so lucky to have been in the right place at the right time.

If you were to ask me the question now, as in “how am I” then I’d tell you I’m so excited, so optimistic, more so than at any time in my MS life. And that is because of the book I’ve just read, now I absolutely know I will be cured, yes I’ve said that before, the difference is that previously I knew that it would happen I just didn’t know when. Now I know that I will be cured within one year, a promise to myself…