There are days that I am so confident in myself and I feel that there is nothing and no one that can make me question what I’m attempting to do. There are times when I totally amaze myself and wonder where that comes from, I mean what is it within me that can logically generate such dynamic self enthusiasm . Then while thinking about it something happens, something silly or quite inconsequential, I may have eaten something that has disrupted my body chemistry and makes me stop cold and have doubts. a cloud of confusion envelops me, it’s really scary because there isn’t anyone else that can make me stumble, there isn’t a doctor or neurologist or scientist that can change my mind in a negative or positive way. The only motivator or demotivator, the only thing or person standing in my way or pushing me on is me..
Continuing to motivate myself is hard, but somewhere inside me there’s a diamond hidden away, a sparkling life source, my vital energy that’s whispering, it’s almost as if it’s my child crying. It’s calling for help because it’s trapped in the dark, the twinkling is fading but I know I have to dig it out, I have to find a way to set it free and it’s mine so I’m not going to give up on it….ever.
It’s frustrating, it’s exhausting but I know I have to get around, over or under me and ignore the pain and extreme fatigue, I have to find a way to set me free.
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