One or the other..

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Think about it? I really dislike doing this but when it comes down to it my life is the most important thing to me, so I can either accept that what I have of life is the best it can be and please understand that it’s pretty crap as it is. My day regardless of which one as they are all the same, my day begins when I wake which is usually around 5.30 am, I tend to check emails, play words with friends and meditate till I get up at 7.45 ish. At this time I’ve also drank a litre of water with baking soda. Breakfast is just a Snack a Jack rice cake then my supplements. I shuffle to the sofa and probably read. My days revolve around drinking about 4 1/2 litres of water with stuff in, having lunch and seeing my neice/carer for 45 minutes. Writing for my blog and watching a bit of early evening tv before going back to bed 12 hours after I left it, apart from 20 trips to the loo that’s my day Monday through Sunday. So as I said I can either accept that, or believe there’s something more. I don’t know what you would do but I do know what I would do…..Any freaking thing….. I’m never giving in even though what it is now is crap, although the weather to most of you is nice, it’s horrendous for me, just living my life is tough but the heat and humidity make it ten times worse, it really does. So asking for help, physically or financially is downright embarrassing, it’s humiliating so please understand this is so  hard for me. If……if everyone reading this cared enough to donate the price of a Starbucks each week for a month then I’d be so much closer to having Stem cell treatment and be able to Want to live. To be totally honest with you, if this was me reading about one of you, a friend or acquaintance asking for help, I’d be ashamed of myself if I didn’t do what I could to help.

One or the other…..you either haven’t seen my plea or you don’t give a crap… Go on, a fiver a week for a month, no big deal….

Garden of the Gods…

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Garden of God’s.

Today I’ve felt really good even though it’s a hot and humid day, great for most people but it can be very awkward from me, the temperature tends to make it very difficult. I’m still trying to work out why specifically for people with MS, my thoughts although not proven scientifically is that my body struggles to carry oxygen (oxyhaemoglobin) in the red blood cells to the organs. In my opinion of course, this results in extreme fatigue so much so that my legs simply will not move or have the strength to support me. So when the weather is like today, this week then I have to have all the windows open, fans going and blinds closed, but yesterday was fine and so far today I’m coping.

The title of this post, Garden of the Gods. I was chatting to a friend earlier and was talking about our “go to places”, where I would go to for a couple of hours to just “be”, to just reflect on life. Garden of the Gods is a national park a few miles from where I lived in Colorado springs. I went to the official website and took a video tour, it was beautiful and I’m not ashamed to say I cried like a baby, I’m not depressed or sad but I really miss being there. My promise to me is like Arnie said “I’ll be back”.

 

Part four..

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I became very concerned by this ever growing weakness that seemed to be spreading throughout my body. I saw my doctor who referred me to a neurologist who after a bunch of tests informed me quite bluntly that I had MS, we then had a heated discussion as I refused to take the medication. Several years later I interviewed for a job with Dr Hal Huggins, the more I read about this man the more I was in awe of him. He had made a stand against the all powerful ADA and FDA by proving amalgam fillings were dangerous. This didn’t go down well with a billion dollar giants, the ADA and FDA who were also in the pockets of the trillion dollar mega giants, the pharmaceutical industry.

 

Doc was about to offer me the job of Client Service Director when he asked me if I was prepared to lose all my friends. At first I thought this a rather strange question. I asked why would he ask that, he then said, “when you know what you’ll know, you’ll lose all your friends. I was intrigued and excited but eventually I said yes and started working a week later.

As my knowledge expanded with sitting in on doc’s consultations and reading all his books, I understood what he meant when he asked if I was prepared to lose my friends. It became obvious that so much of what is generally understood by the general public is tainted and twisted misinformation being spread by the hierarchy of six trillion dollar conglomerates.

Headed by the Pharmaceutical industry the others are the Oil and Gas giants, Food, Insurance, Law and I will group the ADA/ASA and AMA together.

Donate and help ?  

 

Part three

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At first it seemed that everything would be ok, my teeth were fixed so I had a nice smile but little did I know that it would be the start of a decade and more of pain and despair.
I had been investing in a stock, of which I owned 128,000 shares, I’d been informed that they would go for their IPO at anytime but that wasn’t the case. An extremely wealthy man, Geoff Squires had invested millions of pounds in the company so the shares were consolidated which basically meant my holding was reduced to 12,800. Obviously GS thought very highly of this company because he poured more money in so the shares were again consolidated reducing my 12,800 to 1,280. At this time I had to return to England and find a regular job.
A couple of years later I started my own business, a web media company selling advertising and web pages, it was good but hard work.
At the end of 2001 I met a woman through some friends and moved to the States, my first thoughts were to meet this woman and see how things went but after a short time it became obvious that we felt a lot more for each other and we married.
Dona was a graphic designer and had her own business near Denver, Colorado, I got a job working for A.D.T.   in the newly formed Fire Systems Group, a division aimed at servicing the fire and security needs of companies in the Denver metro area.
My life seemed good to me, although my wife’s personality seemed to change. In hindsight the change in personality and attitude towards me should have alerted me to what was really going on, but, ever the romantic optimist I ignored the signs.
I continued to exercise daily although it worried me that my stamina was failing, I couldn’t ride my mountain bike as far or as hard as I did before. Even though I worked out with weights 3 times per week I seemed to be getting weaker not stronger. We sold the house near Denver and bought a bigger place in Castle Rock, it wouldn’t be finished for six months so we moved in with some good friends.

Who is Stefan continued..

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The launch was constantly delayed for one reason or another so I had to wait patiently for it to happen, let me tell you it was not an easy thing to do.
Back to that terrible day in Florida, I had left the gym then called into Winn Dixie for my groceries then headed back to my condo on Anastasia Island. My condo was on the third floor, three steps from the top with hands clutching my sports bag and shopping bags I tripped. Not having a hand free to break my fall I used my face, ouch, not a good thing to do.
I opened my eyes to see teeth and blood sprayed out on the top step, The initial shock and the adrenaline surging through my veins stopped me from crying like a baby but needless to say, I was in a lot of pain.
My brother Brian and his family were staying in the condo next to mine so I clawed my way to his door and knocked, Jeni was the first to see me and the shock on her face frightened me, blood running through my fingers with my palm over my mouth.
Brian and Jeni were great, helping me to gather everything from the steps, then calling several dentists to find one that could see me now.
The next month went by very slowly which couldn’t be said for the money spent on fixing my teeth and my deepest thanks go to my incredible mum for her financial help.

So nice….

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So nice.

As you know, my situation, my condition is not the best but by no means the worst so everyday I count my blessings and express my gratitude in prayer and meditation. I woke a little earlier than normal this morning about 5.15 so after twenty minutes of playing Words with Friends I decided to soak in the bath. I’ve spoken of the wonderful benefits of magnesium chloride before so as per normal I soaked for an hour, I can imagine most would say they couldn’t possibly soak for an hour or more, it would be so boring.

Anyway I usually play one of the thousands of meditations available on YouTube, this way I know specifically how long I’m in. Anyway my point is that after an hour or allowing the healing mag chloride to soak into my body and listening to inspirational Tibetan meditation I got out. I really feel good, stronger and more stable so I know what I’m doing is really helping, this feeling is so nice.

I truly believe that where I am is a stop over point, this is only temporary because I know I have better things to do and better places to be. A lot of what needs to be done is through myself, my attitude and self belief, however any help I can get financially to help me have Stem cell therapy, however small will be much appreciated, please click the DONATE button on the right, thank you.

Could I..?

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Could I..?

I think that everyday I imagine how it will be, not would be, but will be when I get my health back, what will I do? I really can’t imagine there’s anything that could take the place of what I did while working for Huggins Applied Healing in Colorado. I loved being in that beautiful state, yes for 4 months of the year it was a tad chilly but the summer and autumn or Fall as it’s called there was fantastic. I will have Stem Cell therapy and I will get better, it might not be 100% healthy but it will be as good as I was in the early years of having MS. Being able to help others is without a doubt so fulfilling to me and it’s something I hope to be able to do again. I have a wealth of experience and knowledge gleaned from working for a truly great man which I’d love to be able to put to good use.

So I will get healthy and I want to return to where I consider my home so the question is…Could I ?

I would be extremely grateful if you could help me keep my site open and donate what you can, any amount will help, thank you.

Waiting game…..

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To most people, having to wait for something you’ve wanted, expected or paid for is shall I say a rather tedious and frustrating thing to do. You wait in line to pay for the shopping or queue up to get into the cinema, but whatever it is you know it’s just a part of everyday life, nothing you can do about it, it is what it is….

Sometimes it’s a case of working hard and saving a bit of dosh so you can go take the family on a nice holiday or vacation if you’re American, lol. As I said it’s just a fact of life, however what if the “Life” part is what you’re queuing up for….. slightly different thing now. The normal part of life in my case is things like “can I stand”, or “will I only need to go the loo 20 time’s not 25 today”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful that I’m able to do some things, there are some so much worse off than I, but it is frustrating, it is painful, it is embarrassing to know and feel so limited. Knowing my life was so different before, having memories of skydiving, hang gliding, scuba diving, mountain biking, rock climbing and flying is great. I have some very thrilling memories but it’s not as it is now. I experiment, I sample, I research and constantly try to change what the medical professionals tell me to give up hope of ever seeing again. But I know without a shadow of doubt that I will, because I am me and I have patience and this is a waiting game.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy

If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.co.uk then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is stef.cairns@yahoo.com

What does it say…

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What does it say?

My view of Bill Clinton before I went to live in America was that he was a good president, as an Englishman living in England my view, my opinion was based on how he was portrayed by the British media, and in the main, as a man leading the most powerful nation in the world he was doing a good job. In reality he probably created more debt and less work efficiency than any previous president had done. He was an unfaithful man to his wife, he was publicly shamed for his sexual escapades with Monica Lewinsky and it’s likely there were others.

George W Bush was a great sports club owner and businessman but as a leader of a nation he didn’t come over as an intelligent man especially when public speaking.

I lived for eleven years in that beautiful country, half of it was under George Dubya and half under Obama. Living and working there is totally different than living in a different country and judging what happens and having an opinion purely based on what is reported via the media.  In my opinion, based on living and working there is that Obama wasn’t good for the country. Yes the first lady looked and sounded good but that was as good as it got.

Now my point is this, the last three presidents have all had their faults, an unfaithful untrustworthy philanderer, a numb nuts and a Muslim who talked a good talk. Roughly half of America wasn’t happy at the time of each previous inauguration and certainly not during during the time they held office.

Now there is a president that started at the bottom in business, became a billionaire, lost it the became a billionaire again. Do you think he knows what he’s doing? Do you think he has a plan? Do you think he’s proven he can make things happen. You can bet your bottom dollar he does. While the previous three made a mess of it, did anyone riot and loot and protest? No they didn’t so what does it say about the people that are unhappy about Trump. Stop complaining and understand everyone has faults and opinions, give him a chance.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy


If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is stef.cairns@yahoo.com

My starting point….

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I often write about my current situation, my health and my daily challenges, I say this as a plural simply because that’s what it is or they are in my case. I normally wake between 5 and 6 a.m. even though I’m often still awake to after midnight. I’ve had to take something to help me fall asleep and it’s been that way for 20 plus years, my body seems to be ok with about 5 hours or just a bit less.

After the half hour in the bathroom then getting dressed I normally spend 30 or 40 minutes getting a light breakfast and my supplements for the day. Once that’s sorted I usually spend about 30 minutes doing my first of three exercise periods. Obviously the exercises would seem quite basic to most people but at the end of each session I am totally exhausted. That’s not a bad thing feeling absolutely exhausted compared to just very weak as my starting point.

I’ve completed two sessions so far today and it’s 1.45 in the afternoon, my routine today was different than normal and I think this is going to be how it is from now on. It can be a little frustrating knowing how weak I’ll feel for the rest of the day but not exercising would only speed up the weakening process so as tiring and frustrating as it is I know I have to persevere.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy


If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is stef.cairns@yahoo.com