Attitude…

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Attitude

I think having the right attitude in life makes a world of difference, if your situation isn’t as you’d hoped for or as you’d prefer it to be then your attitude to it dictates how you are and how your day will progress. I’ve realised that being upset or worried about a situation in reality does nothing to help relieve or make things better, in fact all it does is allows you personally to indulge in what is a selfish and childish inner tantrum. Worrying about a situation that you personally can do absolutely nothing about is useless. In my experience I find that not worrying but only thinking positive thoughts makes for a much better outcome. I know some of you will just dismiss what I’m saying and that’s your choice but in my personal situation thinking positively makes a world of difference to how I am. Thinking a certain way is very different to feeling a certain way… I know some people will find it hard to differentiate between the two but by thinking you want something different to happen than how it currently is means you are thinking as much or more about the bad…. whereas believing and adopting a positive attitude releases endorphin’s as opposed to cortisol. Your overall demeanour is better and you naturally attract more positive and good into your life.

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I know a lot..

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Know a lot..

To clarify my opening, over the many years I’ve been alive and having “lived” as opposed to just being alive I think I’ve been very lucky to have been to more than twenty other countries and participated in some exciting pastimes. This history has blessed me with a fair amount of knowledge, I’m definitely not saying I know more than you but I can say that I probably know lots of different things than most people. Back to the point, I used to joke and say ” one thing I just can’t understand……..Chinese writing, care of my old mate Dennis Jones. Ok so being serious now, I have so much to be grateful for and I really don’t know for sure who or what I should be thanking, you might chose to say it’s God, you might say the Universe or have a different name for the controlling influence. Whomever you are I want to say “Thank you” for your help. As I said, I know a lot of things, I know without your help I wouldn’t have made it through this very difficult time, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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If….

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If…

My mind works in funny, strange ways and I know that, I don’t really have an explanation as to why I seem to be always able to see something positive in the current situation I find myself in. Maybe I’m just weird, I spend my day going about the normal things I have to do, it might not seem important to anyone else but my days revolve around timing. I know I have to drink specific drinks, water with supplemental additions, I have to take my supplements not just anytime but specific times as I know my carer will be here and replace drinks ready for the next day. My loo visits and any deliveries need to be timed, I know it probably seems rather basic and boring but it’s so important to me, yes I am weird!!! Back to my mind…. the way I see it is this, the disease that squats in me is apparently incurable so they say, it breaks down myelin sheath surrounding the nerves in the brain and central nervous system which as you can imagine has a very debilitating effect on how the body functions. Muscle atrophy and dexterity are badly affected, as all muscles weaken and waste the ability to move is seriously impaired. So if…… if this is what’s happening then I should be permanently in a wheelchair and need constant help. But what I’m doing with supplements, nutrition and meditation is making a difference, to a certain extent it’s keeping the worst of the symptoms at bay. Now my weird mind is seeing that as really positive, the world of medical experts say this is unbeatable but little old me, emphasis on the old is moving in a positive way. I’m 61 yrs old, I’ve hand MS  for seventeen years and I’m not beaten so I’ve a smile on my face knowing, not hoping or thinking but absolutely knowing that I will win.

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Not your average..

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Not your average..

I’m referring to myself here, I’m sure most people like to think of themselves as a little better than average, probably some will think the themselves a lot better than average. That’s probably true but when it comes to being diagnosed with an incurable disease then I think that most, not all but most people will simply accept the prognosis and follow orders to be a good person and take the prescribed drugs.

This is where the difference between most others and myself comes into play. I spent nearly four years learning from a “Master” Dr Hal Huggins, he didn’t just teach me, he instilled a need to question what is considered the norm, one of the reasons why I search for a solution.

Seventeen years after the initial symptoms appeared in my body, I still on the surface look healthy, ok my ability to move around is rather limited but all things considered I think I look good, ok maybe a little biased. What I’m doing from a nutritional and supplemental standpoint is obviously making a difference. Maybe I won’t get to go and have the stem cell therapy but that isn’t the “be all and end all” option, it’s an option. There is something called “Active Stem” a powder that’s being used successfully to encourage the internal growth of the body’s own stem cells I’ve been taking this for a few days and will continue for at least six months. What I’ve read so far on the use with people that have a serious disease is very promising.

My point in this post is that I’m different to most other people suffering with MS, I’m not saying I’m better, just different, I will never accept that I have an incurable disease, I’m certainly not your average, everyday, ho hum run of the mill person, I’m Stefan the guy that won against all odds, the guy that beat MS.

 

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I know..

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Looking at my current situation it would be very easy to allow myself to slip into a state of depression, I mean here I am trying my best to stay positive and optimistic in the face of adversity. I did have hopes of being able to attend a special clinic to have stem cell therapy, I say did because it’s very unlikely now because the chances of raising the necessary funds appears to be slim to none. After four weeks on the Justgiving site the amount generated is roughly 1% of the necessary sum. I was, not am but was extremely disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm and willingness to help by most of my family and the majority of my old skydiving friends.

But that being said I’m still 100% confident that I will beat this regardless of the lack of help, my inner mental strength, my faith and absolute determination will overcome anything and everything placed in my way.

I’ve said this before, ” what you believe you make true”,  knowing is the only thing that matters, and I know.

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Hero…

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Thinking and looking back at the books we’ve read or the movies we’ve seen I’m sure everyone has a hero they have loved, it might have been the guy that fights to the death to save the love of his life or the mother that will do anything to save her daughter or son. I think historically there have been some incredible people that have “stepped up to the plate” and done something that seemed impossible, succeeded against all odds. They all have come from very different backgrounds, different countries and totally different periods in time. So different in almost every way but something deep down within them was the same. Not just similar but exactly the same, now I’m not saying that all of those heroes were born or destined to be that extra special person they became, or that the impact they had on mankind or their country wasn’t important, because it was. I’m not making a wild statement or having “delusions of grandeur” but I’m the same…..inside everyone of them and me is exactly the same thing, the determination and commitment to never ever give up. No one sees me at times when my situation has become desperate, when I’ve fallen and am laying there naked in the dark at 2 am shivering and in pain, when I’m physically so weak I can’t lift my arm or actually move. The frustration and humiliation I’m experiencing simply because my mind knows who I am and what to do but the lump of body I live in will just not move. Looking back at those desperate times I realise that there is only one person that can help, that’s when I have to ignore my own cries for help and dig down the the deepest part of me regardless of how or what I’m feeling. Yes there are are some incredible people, some we look up to and admire and as arrogant as this may sound, in my case it’s me, I am my own hero…

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Power…

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As I’ve said on numerous occasions as I justify to myself, I say myself because in respect to my health and my imminent healing it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I mean if you think or actually believe that I will or I won’t cure myself that opinion or view doesn’t affect the end result in my condition. Of course I would like other people to believe me and help others to enjoy a positive change in the health.

Anyway back to the point, the medical profession in the Western world have very little idea in reality about true health, sad thing to say but it’s true, tell a doctor you are sick and explain your symptoms the he or she will prescribe a medication, stop, stop, it’s not a medicine per se it’s a flipping pharmaceutical drug. The doctor basically prescribes a drug to ease the symptom you’ve described. They literally have very little idea of “Why” there is a problem with the organics, the actual “workings” of the organs and their true interaction with other organs. The attempt to “fix” a symptom as opposed to finding the cause and correcting it, so often health problems are self inflicted by eating or drinking or smoking or injecting substances that might make you feel good temporarily but actually cause long term damage.

Seventeen years ago something happened to me in that I contracted a disease, in my case it was a compilation of events that included mercury amalgam fillings, root canals, physical trauma to my neck and of course certain foods.  I believe that regardless of what the brainwashed doctors think, I believe that using the correct natural supplementation to correct my body chemistry, prayer, belief and meditation that I will do what western doctors say cannot happen, I will cure myself.

After my weekly soak this morning in a bath with lots of magnesium chloride and then of course taking my daily supplements I feel better today than I have for ages and that feeling only reaffirms to me that when it comes down to my personal health that I can and will succeed because I have the strength, determination and the power to do it.

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Against all odds…

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When I seriously look at my situation, my condition, my attitude and my prospects, I’m genuinely impressed. I mean based on the original prognosis when the “matter of fact, tell it like it is, New York neurologist” I’d be in a wheelchair permanently six weeks after diagnosis in February 2004 if I didn’t take the medication, which I never have. I honestly believe that because of my years learning from Dr Huggins about body chemistry and the importance of nutrition that the knowledge I gained has enabled me to be in the condition I am. Ok I need some help but in the main it’s only for less than an hour each day, it would be difficult but not impossible if I didn’t have help. Having the help, primarily from my niece Debbie has definitely made my life an awful lot better, thanks Debs. As I’ve said many times before, I sometimes get a little sad or frustrated but never depressed as I’ve seen others do. As it stands now, my lifestyle to others might look a bit boring but in reality I feel really good, I can truly see a future for me and that’s not one of desolation, I am optimistic and have  hope, actually it’s not hope it’s a genuine knowing that I’m moving in the right direction. I get the feeling that an awful lot of people that knew me and most of my family had given up on me but let me tell you that I will beat this, I will come good, against all odds.

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Probably doesn’t matter…

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Just to clarify and prevent any misunderstanding, the title of this post only applies to some readers and certainly not all. It’s relating to the fact that this is probably the last comment some of you will see from me, I’m not going anywhere it’s just that some of you obviously don’t give a crap about who I am to you and the pain, frustration, anguish and embarrassment I feel 24/7. As a parting comment, I will remove this disease from my body and once again be able to “live” rather than simply exist, and I’ll do this without your help. So regardless of your thoughts today, the fact that you haven’t shown the slightest concern and chose not to help by donating the cost of a freaking Starbucks then as I’ve said you’ll hear no more from me. Please don’t bother responding to this because by the end of today you won’t be on the list of people I want to associate with.

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