Delicate…

Posted by: admin  /  Category: Health

 

Being me is confusing, I mean I’m me….Stefan, born and raised in Liverpool, one of 7 kids living in a 2 bedroom house with an outside loo, no bathroom, it was tough. But then again it was an amazing childhood, not realising that tough love was the best love. No, my siblings and myself didn’t have the benefits that children take for granted these days but “not having” in some ways was so much better than the way some kids get and expect “things” these days. Yes my upbringing was tough but as I grew up into an adult I realised my childhood was “the best”. As an adult I very much appreciated things and looked after the material things I was able to afford. I’ve travelled around the world quite extensively actually, far more than the Liverpool lad ever expected to. My career in the I.T. industry had tremendous rewards but they were only achieved through hard work, understanding the computer industry in its infancy was a lot harder than it is today where electronics and computer technology is part of every child’s life. Anyway the getting up at 5 am and driving two hours to work in London became “the norm” to me and was easy to adapt to from the having less than and harder beginnings I grew up with.

The learning experience with “Doc” in Colorado taught me so much more than just going for my doctorate as I intended, my “baptism by fire” was way more than planned or expected.

So the being me and confusing part…..I think my understanding of the human body, my body and “the disease”  in a more detailed way than most other people can. So why can I not understand why I have night sweats and wake sometimes so weak that rolling onto my side or sitting up is nigh on impossible. Going to bed and being cold laying under a thin duvet but waking as if I’ve spent the night in a sauna and my limbs are strapped to my body is to say the least, a little disconcerting and a tad worrying. Yes I’m scared “shitless” for the first hour till I drink a litre of water and cool down, why is it? I just can’t figure it out, yes I’ve MS but why is the hardened and been dragged through the mill scouser so flipping delicate.

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