My why…

Posted by: admin  /  Category: Health


Okay so let’s set the scene, you’re going to have to take yourself back to when you were a 10 or 11 year old kid… it… Okay, now you know that for 99% of the time you are a good kid, you do all the right things, follow orders, requests by your parents and do better than average at school. This being the case under normal conditions you are pretty pleased with yourself, that’s is until you just seem to go through and uncontrollable rebellious streak. It only lasts for a couple of weeks but it’s happened and even though deep down you know it’s wrong you just changed. It’s at this time your parents decide to punish you, not in a physical way as that’s not acceptable these days, 20, 30 or 40 years ago it was perfectly acceptable but for reasons I don’t understand its not the done thing now. Back to my point, your parents have told you that the Christmas present you’ve been dreaming about is just not going to happen because you’ve been a rebellious, uncontrollable little monster so the prezzy you’d hoped for isn’t going to be waiting for you to open on Christmas morning. You being you accept that as a little monster you don’t deserve to get anything nice, you aren’t going to be rewarded for being a bad person. So one morning you wake and decide that your monster like phase has passed so back to being good, and hope that your rebellious spell will be forgiven, you’ll be in your parents good books again, you hope!! As the weeks and months go by you’ve reverted back to what for all but a two week period had been your normal ways. But your parents even though are treating you as their normal loving child have maintained that you need to learn a lesson that your behaviour during that two or three week spell was just not something that can be accepted so the special gift you were hoping for is still off the table. Now as much as you know you were a little monster you also know that it was a small break from your normal self and you’re back so surely you deserve your special gift. Your parents say no and you’ve lost the chance to be rewarded until you show that the bad you has truly gone. Now one day even though you are still sad inside but being a good kid you stumble across a big box in the basement and look inside, you are absolutely blown away because inside you see the gift you always wanted. Now you know your parents are trying to teach you a lesson by telling you that you lost your chance at being rewarded at Christmas, you know you weren’t supposed to find it but you know it’s there. They don’t know that you know so they keep up the charade, it’s frustrating for you because no matter what they tell you, no matter what they think you do or don’t know, it’s different now because you know, you’ve seen it, it’s happening.

Now liken this to me, to my current situation, I’ve got a horrible disease, I’m experiencing horrible things 24 hours a day, the doctors tell me that there’s nothing that can be done and if anything it’s just going to get worse. Okay I’m the little kid and regardless of what’s being told to me, I’ve seen the prezzie, I know I’m going to get it, the difference is I just don’t know when my Christmas day is going to be. I’m happy because knowing is my Why.

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