Having MS…

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Having MS..

If you talked about having a disease, a supposedly incurable one such as multiple sclerosis to any of the people that are reasonably healthy, I say reasonably healthy because I reckon about 20% aren’t sick per se but probably have an allergy or seasonal virus several times each year. I digress…. so if you actually explain it in depth to the average person, it’s different if they live with someone  that’s suffering or if they’re a carer, they would be shocked at the pain, discomfort, frustration and humiliation that the sufferer experiences on a daily basis. However although the normal symptoms are bad to us, me being one of them, to us it’s normal, it’s bearable, we just accept what it is and get on with it, we just deal with it, there’s no point in moaning and complaining because it doesn’t make it less painful, it doesn’t make it better, so the way I see it, is to just cope with it and keep trying to save my life.

I’m doing my best, nothing anyone can say will make this challenge any easier, unless it’s guidance from someone that’s been there and done that… about two weeks ago I tripped and fell awkwardly, I whacked my head on the edge of the coffee table and there was quite a lot of pain and blood, the last time I did that, bash my head, I was about 6 or 7 years old and fell off a 6 ft wall in Liverpool. Well this time I didn’t cry and shout for my mum, this time I just lay on the floor while Megan my carer applied pressure to the cut.

On Tuesday I had a rough afternoon,  I was very weak and struggled big time although that was diddly squat in comparison to Wednesday afternoon, this is where the extreme weakness, pain , frustration and humiliation comes into play. About 5.00 in the afternoon, I went to the loo, I have to use catheters which is frustrating, as I finished, with my pants around my knees, I became frighteningly weak, the neural pathway between my brain and legs ceased to exist. Imagine this, pants around my knees, leaning on the sink and the toilet cistern, legs splayed and refusing to move, my arms stretched and getting weaker by the second, eventually I fell twisting my arm underneath me with my neck twisted and my head pressed against the side of the bath. I lay there for a good 15 minutes, my right arm stuck underneath me, unable to move, my pants around my knees with my peachy bum for all to see, although there wasn’t anyone there.

The point of this post…. having MS is a pain yes, but my normal MS life is not bad in comparison to the odd, infrequent bad times. While I’m on this very special journey to health the bad guys are desperately trying to keep hold of what they can, they’ll do whatever they can and make such a fuss, I know I’m winning and they can shout, scream and do their worst but I’m not giving up, this is Friday morning and I’m feeling great.

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