My truth…..

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My truth..

In February of 2004, I’d been living in the beautiful state of Colorado for 2 years, I was married to a woman I thought loved me as I loved her, I had a great and very well paid job, lived in a fantastic house that was way too big for the two of us and two cats.

I had a really frightening experience one morning while getting ready for work, Dona my wife insisted I went back to bed where I stayed for several hours before being taken to see my doctor. After a 15 minute consultation he sent me to hospital. It was a 3 day stay and had MRI, Cat scan, EEG, Ultrasound and Lumbar puncture, at the end of all these tests the neurologist, a down to earth, shoot from the hip, tell it like it is New Yorker looked at me and said “there’s no way of breaking this to you gently Mr Cairns but you have Multiple sclerosis”.  Initially I was shocked then very sad then quite defiantly said “okay, I’ll deal with it”….almost like I’d just been told my car had just failed it’s M.O.T. not that they have them over there but you know what I mean. It was almost like I was looking at him as if he was stupid, I wanted to say “Hey!!! Do you know who I am? I’m Stefan, I’m from England… MS, don’t be silly, I don’t get MS”. I think it took a couple of hours before it sunk in, my wife and close friends were all very shocked but equally sympathetic and understanding. Over the next few weeks I had to make adjustments to my lifestyle and work etc, I attended the support groups and read all I could get my hands on about dealing and coping with this hideous disease. The doctors, neurologist and health professionals all offered advice but all  said the same thing which was the the disease would basically take my life from me, that slowly but surely I would become 100% dependent on someone else…..

Okay, let’s put this into perspective, I had a big tough dad from Liverpool, I do have an amazing mum originally from Berlin, I’m one of seven kids, I grew up in a house smaller than Ken Barlow’s, I didn’t have anything easy as a kid, telling me I have an incurable disease is like showing a red rag to a bull. Me!! Get beaten by a freaking disease… Nah, no way, never going to happen….

Okay Ronnie get to the point…. There will never be a day that I believe what “they” said… I will never give up especially now I know 100% that the ABP is the way, now it’s not just my “never give up” attitude, now I know what’s going to happen, and that my friends is my truth..

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